Even Hitler Goes to Heaven.
God is love. Yes to more, and Yes to less.
Thanks for reading <3
A Song For The Road:
I know, I know, I’ve already used this song. But did you actually read the lyrics??
An old friend asked me the other day if I had begun deconstructing religion in my adult life. A fair question in 2025, although I had to laugh. I was raised in a church that valued context over clarity. I was blessed to have spiritual leaders who did not "have all the answers" but instead spent much of their time "searching, learning, and discerning." I won't claim that all Episcopal churches are like this, but mine was. I haven’t regularly attended for my whole adult life because I find God everywhere. I don’t need a church building for that.
I was never taught to take the Bible as the end-all-be-all of Christianity. We talked about oral tradition, translation theory, and historical context. When the computer-generated image of Jesus came out, our leaders printed it and put him on our bulletin board. A constant, friendly reminder that White Jesus was made up for the comfort of white people and the control of everyone else. That’s not God. That’s government.
As a teenager, I was given more leadership opportunities than I could take. I got to lead youth weekends, be on search committees for a music director and for a Rev, and vote on behalf of my church at the state-wide convention- all at only 16-18 years old. I felt valued and safe to speak my truth. It is very lucky in religious circles to be able to question, seek, and learn openly and with great support.
If you walk the halls of my home church today, you will find (I think four) giant posters in the main hallway about the role of the Episcopal church in the slave trade. They are not trying to hide their sins; they are trying to hold themselves accountable for the past, in hopes of building a safer future. You will find many families, a large number of adoptive and foster families, gay and lesbian parents, and a whole service built just for the kids. The occasional outdoor service in the garden. In the sanctuary, we had a rug in rainbow colors "GOD IS LOVE" and bean bags right up front by the altar.
God is Love.
This phrase I heard more than any other. God is love. And I take that to heart. I would hesitate to say that I am truly a Christian. I can't sit here and say that Jesus died to save us all. Jesus died because life is unfair and those with power are often more interested in keeping it than engaging in nuanced conversations about the role of government. When I think of "God" I don't picture a man in the sky, with hands in human business. When I think of "God" I remember the passage of the bible that says God is Unfathomable. We cannot comprehend the vastness, the everything-ness of God. Just look at astronauts who experience being outside of the Earth - God is more than just our planet, God is existence itself. You can try, but to fathom EVERYTHING AT ONCE, man, my head hurts.
Romans 11:34-36
34 Who can fathom the mind of the Lord? Or who can claim to be His advisor?
35 Or,Who can give to God in advance so that God must pay him back?
36 For all that exists originates in Him, comes through Him, and is moving toward Him; so give Him the glory forever. Amen.
Job 11:7
“Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?
I tried to search it and it turns out there are many verses that say approximately this, which only feeds my argument:
Our human brains are not capable of understanding the vastness of God. So why are so many people trying? How can all of these people, human beings, speak on behalf of God or Jesus? How can anyone be absolutely certain about any of it? We can’t. Anyone who says they have all the answers is manipulating you, even if it is well-intentioned. What are the chances that you of all people were born into the right religion, and the right sect of that religion, that any of them could be the "one-true-religion"? I call bullshit. GOD IS LOVE.
When I say "God is love." I don't mean God is a man in the sky who loves us. I mean truly, the act of love, the feeling of love, the thing that makes us smile when we see strangers doing something sweet, the feeling of joy we get when we do something kind for another creature- that is my God. String Theory is my God. I don't believe in an entity that can be fathomed or understood by humans. That feels entirely contradictory to the point. That is where religion becomes a cult and is used to control people. God doesn't care because God doesn't have feelings. God IS a feeling. Ungendered. Not in charge, but a part of.
I am HUGE on translation theory. Oftentimes, there are not comparable words when translating so we have to choose the next closest thing to convey the message. This is where choice can be used to control people. And to be fair, most people go to church to be told what God wants of them. We don't love being told "There is no clear answer." "Well, in this version of the Bible, they say this, but another guy said that, and actually most of the books weren't even written by the people they are attributed to, and actually, theology is a huge effing mess. But keep coming back!" Thankfully, my church was like this. "The great mystery of faith." The desire (and encouragement) to continue scratching, uncovering, learning. God is love.
In college, I took a History of Epidemics course. Ironically, right before Covid hit. (We called it. I'll never forget that class.) In that class, we discussed "Hell" and the translation theory behind it. Turns out the passage wasn't referring to after-life of the soul, it was referring to literal fire pits outside the city walls where the bodies of dead lepers were burned to avoid further spread of the disease. I never believed in Hell before, and this solidified it for me. Hell doesn't exist. Nobody gets sent there. God is not a parent sending you away to your room for sinning. God is love.
By this logic, everyone goes to "Heaven". Everyone. Even Hitler goes to heaven. I know, uncomfortable thoughts for our little human brains. But isn't that the point? If God is love, and so great a love that God is literally unfathomable, so to is the mercy and forgiveness unfathomable. It's literally not possible to understand the greatness of eternal love. Again, why are so many trying? Why are so many claiming that they KNOW FOR SURE about their church or religion? The whole point is that we can't comprehend the amount of love or the vastness of God. God is love. God is everything - the atoms are God, the mountains, the particles that make up our air, the stars of which we are also made - all God. All at once. I think if we all focused more on the love aspect, the feeding the hungry, nursing the sick, housing the unhoused, I think we would have an easier time altogether. Community is the answer. Community is church. It doesn’t have to center the Bible (words of humans).
There is a great play - The Last Days of Judas Iscariot by Stephen Adly Guirgis. In this play, Judas is sitting in Purgatory while an array of historical and biblical figures hold a court case about whether or not he gets to go to heaven. In the end, the only thing holding Judas back from heaven is his inability to forgive himself for his actions. He is so wrapped up in his own head and his own shame that he can’t see Jesus standing right by his side, the entire time. God is love. God is unfathomable, unconditional love. For ourselves, and for others.
Anyway, these are my first thing in the morning thoughts. It's not totally fleshed out or together, but isn't that the point? God was never about telling us what to do. God is just the little thread that connects us to each other. God is the miracle that we are even here. God is everything and nothing. Duality. And that's just not a concept that can fit into a book or a sermon, or some unqualified lady’s blog post. It's not something that can be thrust upon a mind and forced into being. God just is. We just are. It's all not that deep, while also being deeper than we could ever understand.
Ahh complexity. You beautiful, insufferable bitch.
What Jesus Probably looked like.
